Little Old Lady

Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 76 years old.

Defence Attorney: Will you tell us in your own words what happened the morning of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting on the swing on my front porch on a warm spring morning, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defence Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defence Attorney: Please explain 'friendly'?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defence Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

Defence Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died 20 years ago.

Defence Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He began to touch my breasts.

Defence Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I certainly did not!

Defence Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It made me feel alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defence Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and said "Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Defence Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled "April Fool!"..........and that's when I shot the little B%$£ard.