Distractions.
Distractions. That's all they were. That's all they are. That's all they ever will be.
She held those thoughts in her head as if her life depended on it. And sanity-wise, it kinda did. One negatively contradicting thought and she would be on her knees, tears flowing down her cheeks, begging for time to stop. "No," She thought. "I can do this. Once i am out of here, everything will be okay. They don't deserve anymore of my time. I need time to grieve. I have to take care of me now."
She hurriedly walked down the sickeningly crowded high school corridor. There were so many people- yet she felt so lonely in their presence. She kept her head held down, ignoring all the snickers and dirty looks surrounding her. Golden brown hair curtained over her face as she walked faster. She didn't want people to see her like this. Heck, she didn't want to see herself like this.
She tilted her head upwards as a soft, yet bitter grin tugged at her lips. Hazel eyes locked onto the exit door with a gaze of longing. It didn't take long for that grin to disappear. Her throat felt clogged, the muscles in it pulsing. "Am i going to throw up?" She thought to herself. Nope. By now, she realized what was happening.
She was going to cry.
She tried to muffle her sniffs and squeaks with her hands, but to no avail. She was now running to the door, judgmental whispers following her like a shadow. Outside this very door was her safe zone, her only escape. Her escape from this painful torture. Her escape from the sneaky criticism that crawls up her spine and lingers at the tips of her ears. Her escape from the terrible people that crumpled her self-esteem and left her life in pieces.
She shut the door behind her, and released all of the pain she bottled up over the years. By now, it didn't matter who saw her cry. Now, she could cry as loud and as hard as she wanted to. School was over, and so was the pain.
Whispering, she says,
"Now I can escape from the girl I used to be"
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Japan • 20 years old