Lost in the Moment

My whole world stopped in the moment, in that second, one of the (possibly) biggest moments in my life occurred. My first kiss. My arms wrapped around his neck , I stared into his eyes as he pulls me toward me with his hands around my waist and he gently kisses me. As that second ended, everything around me slowed, and I could only see him. From that day forward, I was deeply in love with him. He always kissed me, he wasn't afraid to kiss me in front of his friends (or teachers as a matter a fact, we got caught twice, and yet got lucky twice) and he cared for me more than any guy I've ever known in my whole life. I used to not like him the same way he liked me, but his difference between most of the poor-excuse-of a-boyfriend-guys I've ever dated really stood out to me. He walked me to all my classes, fingers intertwined with mine (and if there were teachers around, we'd just walk close) even if his class is halfway across campus. When we sat down together, I leaned on him and he'd be there to be the shoulder I could lean on and having the feeling of his head resting next to mine. He kissed my shoulder, my lips, he kissed my favorite spots to be kissed, the ears and the neck and he sent shivers down my spine. I loved him with all my heart, soul and mind. Those were the most happiest times of my life. Unfortunately the saying "All good things must come to an end" has always proved right. Once my mom found out she wasn't very happy. Neither was my dad. He ended up meeting them both. I loved him so much, I really did. But my mom really did disprove our relationship. She didn't feel that I was ready to fall in love. So she pulled me out of school. That ruined EVERYTHING. My best friend started to cut once more, the girl who hated my guts more than anything came to the school (which means I can never go back), and some of my best friends stopped contacting me. But worst of all, he and I broke up a month after Mom started to homeschool me. He left me the month that was the hardest for me, when I really needed him the MOST. This truly left me broken hearted, and I to this day have no idea how he feels about the whole situation. Sometimes I wonder if I cross his mind as often as he crosses mine. I always wonder how he's doing without me, or if he has already moved on, or if he regrets hurting me. I sometimes daydream during classes about this matter, but of course, I will probably never find out if he was really thinking that. I don't think I could ever talk to him with it being the same, I'm so numb inside, so cold, and I don't have anymore room to love.

Author Notes: Well, I guess the title does fit in the situation I was in. I was always lost in the moment because of him and I still am, since he does cross my mind often.

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