by Alexis Kypridemos
Detectives Richard "Dick" Tuggs and David "Davie" Croquet walked into the police station garage. They were greeted by Lonnie, the mechanic.
"First in the squad, boys. You’ll be the first to drive it," Lonnie said to them as he showed them to their new, specially equipped unmarked car.
"Features all the new standard accessories: GPS, a fax machine, Department of Motor Vehicles computer, a nine inch high definition plasma television monitor with satellite feed, a lifetime subscription to the Playboy channel, and a radio tuner with FM and AM."
"No way," Croquet gasped.
"It’s amazing what technology is capable of," Lonnie concluded.
Tuggs and Croquet parked their copmobile a few feet down from the crime scene, an apartment building. They got out and walked toward the building. A teenager walked past the car. A few seconds later, he backed up and put his face against the glass and peered into the car.
He mumbled as he checked out the car's equipment, "Global Positioning System... fax machine... computer... high def TV screen... holy sh- a radio tuner."
He looked to the left and right before trying the door handle.
Three cars down, right in front of the apartment building's entrance, a man opened the back of his car and took out a suitcase. He walked up the front steps of the apartment building leaving the trunk open, with two other suitcases exposed.
Another man approached. He conspicuously looked to the left and right, then went to grab one of the suitcases.
"Hold it!" Tuggs called from the building's front steps as he and Croquet exited.
Croquet trained his gun on the thief while Tuggs slipped handcuffs around his wrists.
"I was just lookin’ after the stuff until the guy got back," the thief said.
They dragged the thief away.
Seconds later, a second thief appeared and conspicuously looked left and right. He then took both suitcases and left.
Three cars back, Tuggs and Croquet walked the thief to where they had parked their souped-up car. There was a noticeable gap along the curb. The car wasn’t there. They froze.
"What’s up?" the thief asked.
Tuggs and Croquet stared at the empty street, as if hoping that the car would suddenly reappear. They looked at each other.
"You guys gonna book me or what?" the thief asked.
Tuggs turned the thief around and unlocked the cuffs. The thief’s gaze darted back and forth between the two cops.
"Hey, what’s the deal here?" he asked. "What are you guys up to?"
Tuggs pushed him aside and gave him a kick up the ass.
"Go on, get lost."
Author Notes: "Cop Car" is part of "Fiction Fix," a collection of 46 short, funny stories, plus 196 bonus micro fiction budget stories, available at http://www.fiction-fix.com.