"I'm tellin ya sonny, It was the god damn fairies, THEY TOOK HER!" "Sure thing grandpa, and I'm married to the queen of England's adopted biracial transgender twin sister." Just then, a flash of pink light came from outside in the back yard so we went out to go see what it was andas soon as we got out there an abnormally strong smell of sugar, spice and everything nice spread across the whole back yard. The flash was coming from the mushroom ring and right as the obnoxious beam of pink light died down you could see an almost entirely naked white man with an incredibly long white beard and bug like wings that sparkled like something you'd see off a cartoon and couldn't be more than 4 feet high was floating right above the center of the ring. This horrid comicon looking creature then spoke in the most terrible high pitched yet raspy voice you could ever think of and said; "Thaaanks for the spooons and the prrret t ty lady you dirty, smelly, nipple concealing humans!" After this, thing threw out probably both the most memorable and weird insult I ever heard he spun around and poofed up into a cloud of pink, blue, and green glitter dust that seemed to fall a bit longer than you would think, then he (or at least I think it was a he) disappeared. "Umm, grandpa?" "Come inside sony I'll tell you everything you want to know and help you prepare for the long and clothes less journey ahead, but first I need you to help me with my pants, I sharted." "Oh that's great grandpa, That really is a great picture you just put in my mind." So we went back inside and I helped grandpa with his soiled pantaloons and he asked me to sit while he explained everything. "Now son I want ye to listen very carefully, let me tell you all about my first encounter with these fairies back in my day."
Author Notes: This is my attempt at a horror comedy but the horror hasn't started yet