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Paint Splodges

Paint Splodges

SaharaJemSaharaJem
3 Reviews

They lied. They all lied. They said I would get over it; I didn't. My world is a bleak, barren wasteland of melancholy and despair. This has been my life, ever since...it happened. Painting helps, it shields me from this harsh world we are kept slave to. People - when they dare to approach - often ask me “where are your paintings? Your canvases? Your sketches?” They are clueless. They all are. I am my own canvas.

Colours fly off my only paintbrush like they were meant to be part of me. I use all the colours: Brazier-red, autumn-orange, honeycomb-yellow. Whether they be warm, or cold, they are all exquisite to me. My patterns are vibrant and fluorescent, or dull and depressing. Yet beautiful either way. The musty smell of paint is comforting. It revives memories of blissful times. Oh, what I would do to be back then. When I was free.

When I paint myself I feel as if I'm a whole new person. The smooth strokes of my brush on bare skin is satisfying and comforting.

Colours are my soul, my heart, my barrier from humanity. I am and am not,a living piece of art: I am because of my physical appearance, I am not because of my emotional. Every piece of art has a purpose; I don't have a purpose, unless it is to bring sorrow and meaningless to the world.

My depression is killing me. It is a demon, a curse. Clawing and scratching at me until I am consumed from the inside. I can't get rid of it. It stalks me wherever I go. Unseen, but very much felt. I am trapped like an ant in a droplet of water. I once told myself that I would be ok, that was the first lie I ever told. Painting and colours are the only things that keep me sane - barely.

My colours are my disguise. Inside, I am already dead. But I must hide it. I have to hide it. However, I can't keep pretending forever. If only I could wake up from this nightmare…

Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I had kept going; fighting my way through the battle of life. If only it had happened to someone else. If only. I am gone now. I will never see the radiant glow from the sun again. All that remains of me is a single paint splodge outside my window.

Author Notes: If any of you are wondering, yes, she does commit suicide. Please tell me what to improve or if you liked it! All comments are appreciated! :)

Recommend Reviews (3) Write a Review Report
About The Author
SaharaJem
SaharaJem
About This Story
Audience:
12+
Posted:
15 Feb, 2017
Genre:
Urban, Tragedy
Type:
Sad, Other
Words:
409
Favorites:
3
Views:
159

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Paint Splodges Reviews

3 reviews have given an average rating of 4.3 out of 5 Stars
Myrawiles
Myrawiles gave a rating of 5

Great job

20 Feb, 2017 0
Karly-North
Karly-North gave a rating of 5

this is really good!!!

16 Feb, 2017 0
SaharaJem
SaharaJem - 17 Feb, 2017
Thank you so much!!
apemann
Apemann gave a rating of 3

Allowing for the fact that English is not your native language, the spelling mistakes are understandable.

The subject matter is one that has been done many, many times on this site and has become tiresome. For that reason it is hard to fully appreciate your work. However, what is clear is that you have a good appreciation of language and how it can be effectively used to convey thoughts and emotions. I hope we'll see more stories from you on more upbeat subjects -)

16 Feb, 2017 0
SaharaJem
SaharaJem - 16 Feb, 2017
Thanks for the review Apemann! English is my first language, I'm just a really bad speller. Your comment is apriciated!
SaharaJem
SaharaJem - 16 Feb, 2017
I've changed it a bit now, what do you think?

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