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The Picture Perfect Family but You Read the Fine Print Reviews

IanG
IanG gave a rating of 3

You have an interesting premise but the story needs more working on. If you broke it up into paragraphs then it would be easier to read. Then again, paragraphs can merge by mistake when you put a story online, its happened to me.

You raise some important issues regarding peer group pressure and prejudice. Keep practising and you'll improve.

0
sidney
sidney thank you for the pointers. I will definitely use them in the future. I really appreciate it!!
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