The Terror of the French Resistance
by Alexis Kypridemos
Colonel Vasoline surveyed the clearing through his field glasses. He could see nothing. Outstanding. This meant that his mens' camouflage was superb, and he could not tell them apart from the shrubbery. Hopefully neither could the Germans.
Vasoline lowered his field glasses. He yearned for a cigarette, but he did not light one because the smoke would give the whole operation away. He had been preparing this ambush on the column of German tanks for months, planning down to the last detail. In the distance, there was a faint rumble. Vasoline looked through his field glasses.
There they were. The German Panzers, rolling down the dirt track, coming toward him. When they reached the prearranged spot on the track, Vasoline's men, hidden in the surrounding vegetation, would open fire, relying primarily on American supplied bazookas-
The staccato of machinegun fire cut short Vasoline's train of thought. The tanks were still too far ahead! Had some fool opened fire too soon? Vasoline peered intently through the glasses, scanning the ambush area. He located the source of the gunfire.
A single man, extremely thin and angular, dressed in a striped undershirt and a crooked beret -a common one, not the military kind- wielded a Tommygun and sprayed bullets at the dumbfounded German tanks, which had not yet responded to his attack. When the man's Tommygun was spent of bullets, he took a hand grenade from his pocket, removed the pin and tossed it at the first tank in the column, then hit the ground. The grenade ricocheted off the tank's steel surface and landed in one of the bushes harboring Vasoline's men and exploded.
Not having the courage to observe the aftermath of the disaster, Colonel Vasoline lowered his field glasses for the last time, and muttered, "Nerde."
For the man in the striped undershirt was Louis-Carrote Nerde, known to freedom fighters across France as The Terror of the French Resistance.
Author Notes: "The Terror of the French Resistance" is part of "Fiction Fix," a collection of 46 short, funny stories, plus 196 bonus micro fiction budget stories, available at http://www.fiction-fix.com.