I am the monster inside my head. I see my mistakes and I'm angry for no reason. I stopped caring what other people think a long time ago. I've only been getting older and more tired. I don't see a difference in trying my best and getting it done because nothing is a challenge anymore. Being stuck in the same place for too long does something to your head although I'm not quite sure what. Life is boring when I close my eyes but I can't seem to keep them open forever. I'm not sad, I'm not happy, I'm not full, I'm not empty. The things that used to scare me are gone. The things that do scare me are hiding. I can't explain this feeling but know it exists and it's been here forever. The last time I opened my heart it shattered. The last time I loved it was ignored. My friends were never my friends, but they're always there. Up is down, left is right, in is out. Sometimes I feel upside down and inside out and other times I feel upside out and inside down.