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By Alexis Kypridemos

by Alexis Kypridemos

Detectives Richard "Dick" Tuggs and David "Davie" Croquet arrived the crime scene, a sealed-off apartment. They stopped just inside the entrance and looked down.
"Whoa," Croquet said. "What happened here?"
"My guess?" Tuggs said. "Jealous husband caught this guy munching his wife’s carpet."
On the floor lay a dead man with a carpet in his teeth, a maniacal expression on his face, and two bullet holes in his chest.
Standing next to the body was Hawthorne, the station’s CSI expert. His elaborate rig of ultra violet lights and other gadgets were set up around the body.
"Hawthorne. What can you tell us?" Tuggs asked.
Hawthorne studied the body closely before replying, "He was shot. Twice."
Tuggs made a note. "Right. Anything else?"
"The C.O.D. appears to be severe puncture trauma in the chest area..."
Crocket leaned forward and asked Tuggs in a whisper, "C.O.D? Cod?"
Tuggs turned back and muttered out of the side of his mouth, "Cash on delivery."
Croquet nodded with comprehension.
Hawthorne wrapped up his explanation, "So. Do you guys mind bagging the vic for me? We’re a bit short on manpower right now. Union’s on strike. What can you do?"
Hawthorne moved away to search the apartment for clues. Croquet and Tuggs look at each other curiously.
"Bag him?"
Tuggs shrugged his shoulders. They looked around the room. There was an unzipped body bag on the floor. Croquet spotted a small rubbish bin in the corner of the room. He reached down and took the plastic bag from inside the bin. Tuggs grabbed the body from under the shoulders and carried it out into the hall.
Croquet followed him and stretched the bag open. Tuggs lifted the dead body and put it head first into the bag. The bag ripped and the stiff corpse shot down the stairwell, cascading from wall to wall. Tuggs and Croquet stood motionless, looking down.
"Start the canvas?" Tuggs proposed.
The End

Author Notes: "Whodunit" is part of "Fiction Fix," a collection of 46 short, funny stories plus almost 200 bonus micro fiction stories, available at

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About The Author
Alexis Kypridemos
About This Story
15 Mar, 2014
Read Time
1 min
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