I miss you...

Sometimes when I’m in that mystical phase between sleep and awake, I think of you. You come, uninvited into my thoughts and pollute my mind with the memory of what couldn’t be. My brain starts start’s to fill up with ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ and as I try so hard to exclude you from my mind, you somehow always find a way to creep back in. I suppose subconsciously, I like remembering you, the non-existent memories of what ‘could have been’ bring a smile to my face, as much as I hate to admit it. I cant think of you like that, not anymore. The moonlit walks , the bike rides to nowhere, the magical strolls along the beach with the sun casting an orange pathway for us as it sets behind the never ending blue. No, thinking like that will only remind me of what you did. The way you ripped my heart out, still beating from my chest and shattered it into a million tiny pieces, like some unimportant scrap of glass. You broke my heart, you know. I’ve tried to find the pieces and glue it back together with your memories, but it only shatters them more.
loved you...did you know that?

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