Depression

I hate my life, period.
I know it is a crazy thing to say when only 13, but I’ve been sure of it for many, many years.
All I ever do is hurt myself and hurt the people I love.
I don’t deserve to live.
I am also a disgrace to my family. They probably think I am crazy, with all my anger break outs or my sobbing 24/7.
Every night i look at my self in the mirror and cry. i just cry my eyes out all night.
I wish I could stop, and just end this all. But I can’t.
I don’t know why I decide to do such stupid things, whether it is drinking, making myself throw up or cutting.
My friends know…about all the stupid things I’ve been doing. And I see the fear in their eyes, and they say they care but I still feel like they don’t. Like no one does.
I have just told my mother I hate her, and I want her to send me away for the summer to get away from her.
She is in pain; she got messed up from surgery. But why am I so stupid not to notice this?!
Why can’t I just stop being selfish and thinking about myself FOR ONCE?
Everyone would be better off without me.
I’m just a sin that was a work of the devil.
It is insane how many times I’ve come close to opening up that pill bottle and overdosing.
Suicide.
Will I ever get over this depression? Or will I go insane and commit in.
Maybe when I stop being a selfish bitch, get skinny and actually am able to look at without throwing up.

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