SURRENDERING TO PAIN

I laughed 'til I cried
cried, cried
with no one to hold me
and calm me
My anger burned
a hole in my soul
My sadness
the sound of my tears
My sobs rendered me helpless
as I burrowed down to that
deep place inside of me
where raw emotions hide
I cried for the hurt,
the pain and the fear
and a childhood lost
I cried for dignity undone
and innocence long forgotten
I cried for the questioning silences
and the doubt filled eyes
I cried because I felt so forsaken
the loneliness nesting
deep in my heart
I cried so loud yet
I was not heard
The kind of crying
that makes others uncomfortable
because the pain is
all too obvious
yet crying seemed a
woefully inadequate
way to voice such
powerful emotions
With only bloodshot eyes
and a tear stained face
to show that moments
before my body racked
with tremors
I faced the world again