Lost and Losing Myself

Am I colorblind?
Seeing the world in all new ways;
With blue and orange and green and red,
All in shades of gray.

Am I losing my thoughts?
Not one seems to make sense.
I try and try to understand
But, this confusion is relentless.

Am I breaking away?
I can feel my seams ripping.
I feel my walls crashing down,
My reality is cracking.

Am I doing this to myself?
"Making mountains out of molehills."
So desperately trying to ignore it
But, is it enhancing my feelings, still?

Am I crying or laughing?
Could I really be doing both?
So much is running through my mind
Yet, nothing is at all.