The only outstanding aspects of this piece are the author's vivid imagination in telling this story and his effortless ability in creating strong settings thus evoking mood and atmosphere. I felt as if I were there witnessing this tale unfold. The style of this author's expression perfectly captures the tone of this story.

In the beginning of this tale I had difficulty in figuring out the connection between the various characters which required a second reading for clarification. Clarification with more detail will assist the reading in recognizing and sailing through this part of the tale.

I did find the lack of paragraph separation distracting and I wondered why the author had not taken care of this simple fask.

The pace was good and held my interest - I wanted to see what was going to happened. I was surprised and disappointed when the end came. The ending was a let down. An opportunity for a great and gripping finale was overlooked for some reason.

Taking all aspects of this author's brilliant storytelling ability, the lack of proper text structure. and the ending which missed the mark, I'm allowing three stars for this piece with the hope that a sincere rewrite will polish this jewel to the status it deserves.
Ciao
JT