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At the Bus Stop Reviews

2 reviews have given an average rating of 3.5 out of 5 Stars
HardToPlease
HardToPlease gave a rating of 2

This story was a perfect example of a short story, I feel like the countdown went along with it perfectly. But it started at 30 minutes and before I knew it we were down to two. I guess it could've been because they were getting ready pretty slowly but they also said that they didn't care much about how they looked. So they could have just slapped some clothes on and waltzed on out the door and yet they tried to calm down their hair. Doesn't quite add up but hair. Is. Valid. So I'd understand why they'd just want to calm it down if they didn't care too much about their appearance but they could've done it while walking out the door. AND WHY WOULDN'T THEY CARE ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD LOOK IN FRONT OF YOUR SOULMATE??? Like big deal, first impressions are important.
There are also a few spelling errors and I know I don't have to point them out... but I will.
- Meetiong
- Nervouslylooked (Not really a spelling error but yeah.)
- Though (Technically it's not spelled wrong but I'm pretty sure that it was supposed to be "thought" in the sentence it was used in.)
Another thing that managed to tickle my noggin was what the countdown on their wrists was for. I feel like it could have used more detail. Like, did they have it since birth? Does everyone have one? And just, what is it? I think with a bit of explanation it would be moi perfecto but it is still really intriguing without it.
Lastly, I would like to discuss why Mr. Whatshisname literally SPRINTED to this person. (He's a runner he's a track star. He gon' run away when it gets hard. He can't take the pain, he can't get scarred-) No crosswalk, no stop sign. Nothing to stop those vehicles from crushing those bones of his. Well... I guess the moral of this story is "Always look both ways before crossing the street." A lesson my mother taught me from whence I was a lad.
Overall, I loved the "Don't forget me." at the end, struck me hard.

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hazel_basil
hazel basil gave a rating of 5

aaaaaaahhhhhh this is so saaaaaaaaaad
Great job tho this is wonderfully written

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