The Ocean
By Millieywqq
Most people wonder what depression is like. And many different people will give you many different answers. My analogy, you ask? Well, picture this. Depression is like an ocean. You only want to sunbathe, but different events lead you to getting into the water (which signifies self-harm and suicide). Peer pressure, bad grades, bullying, bad family life, verbal and physical abuse, the list goes on and on. Anyways, you get into the water and think, "Hey, this feels good." So you go in farther, craving more. It starts to take you over and you don't fight it because it feels so damn good. Eventually though, you don't realize how far you've drifted from reality. You're no longer on the shoreline, but in the middle of the ocean, struggling to swim, struggling to breathe. You have no idea what to do. Ships pass by, but the don't see you because you're so lost. It becomes cold, wet and dark. You start to panic and want the sun again, but there's nothing that can save you. You come to the realization that it wasn't your list of problems that lead you to this in the first place. You're the one who stepped into the water. You're the one who thought it felt good and drifted of to see. And the amount of hatred you felt for the things in that list didn't even compare how much you hate yourself at this point...
You're scared.
Being in the ocean myself, I can't ever breathe. I try to save myself, I think I have found the light, but it just becomes a myth to me. In my world, there is no sun. Everything is dark. 27 suicide attempts and a collection of razor blades pushes me further into the water, pushing my head further under the dark sea. I just wanted to cool off from the sun. I needed somewhere where the reality of everything escaped me for some time, and the ocean was the only place. It turned me into a messed up person. It messed my life up in ways nobody would imagine. My thoughts are people worst nightmares.
So, my advice, don't go into the ocean, no matter how bad things are. Stay on land. Save yourself. Things will get better, I promise. Don't try and find me. No one can save me, I'm already lost...
But I can try my best to save you.
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