Be Still, Your Beating Heart Reviews
Your mixture of classic-like phraseology and contemporary modes of speech makes this piece, at times, awkward to read. It feels almost 'jokey' in places, which I'm sure was not what you intended. You do write well, but the inconsistency in your writing 'voice' undermines what you produce.
This IS a good story.
Nice! Reminds me of an X Files episode, but different, nonetheless. I was worried it would be the same, but it wasn't, so I like your originality.