Deep.

i remember that night, or should i say these nights. Every night for five days i did one. Every night i couldn't sleep because of the burning sensation in my wrist. Every night cried myself to sleep only to wake up in the morning to puffy eyes and red marks. I remember how hurt i had felt. I just wanted to talk to someone, call someone text anyone. I couldn't. I felt so alone, so desperate to feel that swollen, and neverending stinging in my wrist. Those nights were by far the worst in my life. I was in hell for five long days, trying to escape the fire blazing through my soul. I felt nothing sometimes and everything all at once other times. I just needed to talk to someone and i was incapable. Maybe if someone would have talked me out of it i wouldn't have had these scars. Instead im left with never being able to recover from the pain those nights simply because everytime i look at my arms and wrists i only see see the battles i lost with myself. I see a broken little girl who's never had a hand to hold. I'm stuck in this life of pain that i just want to escape. Everyday i wake up look in the mirror and see the same thing. A broken smile that clearly fools the whole world. Not a day passes by that i dont feel this ache in my heart. The truth is that all along my joy has been taken away everytime find my happiness i can't even talk to them or see them. My heart gets ripped out my chest slowly because i have this desire to be fufulled with their presence. I just want to be truly happy for once. Why can't i just have my happiness ? I found it and i can't even embrace it because i can't even talk to them.

Author Notes: With all mi corazon.

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