Different Tone

Sometimes when I'm alone,

I try to imagine my life in a different tone,

What my life would be

If I had always been free,

If my dad could love someone other than him,

I don't mean to be dim,

But there's something about night,

That brings these things to light,

What would I be like if I was skinnier?

This downward spiral is linear,

Soon enough I feel like I'm not even myself,

Like I'm some figure on a shelf,

There's this never ending need to be flawless,

And I'm afraid I will get no solace,

Because everyone expects me

To be bright and red shining happily,

But there's blue that's rooted itself deep,

And its purple that I've been forced to hide and keep,

I wish I could change it

But because I'm not perfect I'll never fit

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