Drink of the Devil Reviews
Interesting concept, however it seems a little rough which dispels the tension that builds up throughout the story. Now I am horrible with grammar so I wont focus on that. I will suggest that the second part where the boy realizes he had been tricked describe that betrayal, show his fear. That adds to the tension as opposed the just telling the reader as the events happen. And the last sentence, I know breaking up the sentence was to be a killer ending but it also made it seem blocky and killed it in my own opinion.
This is grande piece but you do have errors. My advice to you is before posting you should reread it five times and if you are not sure then just ask someone if they can look over it for you to help you catch the mistakes because you are missing some words with other errors. Do not be discouraged. You story is good. Keep on writing.
Have a good evening,
Your change of name has, regrettably, not led to a change of standard. As (what has become) usual, your story has spelling and grammar inaccuracies as well as being too short to make any sort of sense or impact.
I just do not understand why you will not take - and act on - the advice you are given. You have some really good story ideas, but you are so slapdash when you write that you spoil them completely. You do not do yourself justice by submitting such sub-standard work when it is clear you are capable of much better IF you put in the effort...
I am sorry that you feel like I don't put in any effort. But if you feel that way, why don't you stop reading my work?
Have a good evening,
There are a few mistakes here and there, but nothing that's not fixable. Not to the extent that I'd rate the entire story on it. So, I disagree with this review.
Looking again at this review, it does seem quite harsh. If you also interpret it this way, there are other reviews to go by that maybe more helpful to you.
You see me as your harshest critic instead of the one person who is honest enough and forthright enough to tell you that you are NOT perfect. Others may tell you what you want t hear, I won't. I tell you the absolute truth - always