EMILY

THE PARK

"I'll text you when I'm home," I shout from the pathway, my laugh bounces off the wind, getting lost between the smell of vodka.

The park was familiar to me; I walk through it almost every day. It’s a shortcut to home.

Yet today was the first time I had walked through it in the dark.

The wind howled, the leaves whispered, the grass sang softly.

The streetlamps flicker, sending me a message in Morse code. The world beyond me spins, and the smell of vodka fills my mouth.

Through the howls of the wind came a silence—a small voice, innocent.

‘’Emily?’’

So faint that the clouds washed it away. ‘’You’re drunk, it’s just the wind,’’ I mutter.

‘’Emily, I heard again. This time closer, louder.

The voice echoed through my head.

Out of breath, I lean on the swing set in front of me— ‘’ just for a moment, and then I'll carry on’’ I said.

Without taking any notice of the voice, I assumed someone was behind me speaking loudly on the phone. I chose not to worry.

Before long, my curiosity got the better of me. Who was speaking so loudly at this time of night? Stumbling off the swing set, I spun around.

Nobody was there.

‘’Emily’’ I heard again. The voice is no longer innocent. This time filled with anger, desperation.

‘’who’s there’’ my voice croaked. My knees are slowly going weak.

No answer.

The swings creaked.

The wind howled.

I stand still for a moment.

Confused.

Alone.

Looking around, ‘’you’ve had way too much tonight, I laughed at myself. That third shot may not have been the best idea.

Stumbling forward, my body so weak I felt like I was dragging metal weights behind me.

That’s when he appeared.

A small boy, sitting on the swing set I had once been leaning on. Blonde hair that stuck up, almost like he had just received an electric shock. Torn clothes, a gash on his forehead. Hazel brown eyes staring up at me, hope.

I hesitated for a moment, turning my head to try and get a better look at him. Are you lost?’’ was the only thing I could think to ask. It’s too late for you to be out on your own.

Nothing but silence.

I inch closer to him, gripping my keys in my palm. The rattling from them is the only thing that pierces through the silence.

Every step I take, the streetlight above me flickers, more and more until I reach a point where I am so close to him that it just stops.

Only light was from a nearby car, its headlights shining.

‘’Emily’’, he whispers. Slowly standing up.

I take a step backwards; he takes a step forward. I was not paying attention, and I stumbled. My legs fell from under me, and all I could do was look up at him. ‘’That’s not… that’s not my name’’ I said quietly.

His eyes grew sadder, and the hope that was once in them disappeared.

He laughs, innocent yet menacingly. ‘Emily,’ he shouts. The hope returning to his eyes, a grin appeared on his innocent face.

My heart drops into my stomach, ‘’this can’t be real.’’ I closed my eyes, hoping he would go away.

Slowly, one at a time, I opened them.

He was no longer in front of me.

I sighed a breath of relief.

‘’Emily’’ came from behind me. I felt my blood curdle.

I flicked my head around, but no one was there.

‘’Emily, the innocent voice screamed. I turned my head back to the front of me, there he was. Standing inches away.

He inched himself closer, my body paralysed with fear, the broken souls of his shoes clicking every time he moved.

His hand reached towards my forehead, icy cold fingers bruised and bare.

Closer and closer, small hands got bigger and bigger.

‘’Don’t touch me’ I demanded. flight or fight mode, I try and get away from him ‘’don’t tou- ‘’

Everything spins. My once weak body felt heavy.

The swings stop creaking; they disappear. The trees fade, and the flickering of the streetlight stops. The walkaway swallows me whole. Headlights pour out from the foggy darkness. My heart pounds. The smell of petrol fills my lungs.

‘’Emily’’

The voice came again, more desperate, less angry, panicked.

Flashes appear before me: a car swerving, tyres shrieking, the broken radio plays the same song, everything spins. Headlights smash into one another.

Ambulance sirens in the distance.

‘’Emily’’ the boy screams.

I stand up, my feet running towards the car.

But before I could get there, the street’s light flickered. Darkness.

The park had returned.

The swing set was in front of me, the boy swinging on it. Looking down.

Sobbing. ‘’Emily’’, he croaked.

Sitting beside him in this moment would be the right thing to do; I could not bring my feet to move. They were stuck.

‘’How could you forget me?’’

‘’How could you not remember?’’

The blonde-haired boy muttered through the sobs.

Silence.

I looked around, confused about what had just happened.

He started to hum a tune; I tried to tune it out. Racking my brain for answers.

He hummed louder and louder.

He started to sing, ‘cause you’re a sky, cause you’re a sky full of stars’

Repeating the same line over and over.

‘cause you’re a sky, cause you’re a sky full of stars’

‘Stop,’ I muttered. I couldn’t concentrate.

The singing, just like the humming, got louder.

‘cause you’re a sky, cause you’re a sky full of stars!’, it was no longer singing, it was meaningless words.

His voice got closer, his shoes clicking. Louder and louder.

Just like the broken radio, he sang the same song repeatedly.

The radio, the car, the headlights, the world spins.

He stopped singing, ‘How could you forget?’’.

No answer.

‘’Emily’’ he yells, silence, ‘’please’’ he whimpered’’

What do you want from me?’’ not making eye contact with him.

‘’I want you to remember.’’

THE ACCIDENT

‘’I want you to remember’’ echoed in my head, the words spinning on top of me. Each letter is getting mixed up.

Darkness.

The engine roar, the smell of petrol, ‘‘cause you’re a sky, cause you’re a sky full of stars’’ played. White light flickered.

I was in the back of a car. It was the same car I had seen before, only this time they were both in it, and everything was okay.

What do you want for dinner tonight?’’ she asked, a voice much like mine yet somehow different.

‘’cheeseburger’s’’ the blonde boy giggled, an innocent giggle. A sweet laugh. Gentle.

‘’You’re going to look like a cheeseburger, if you keep eating them.’’ She laughed back.

Silence filled the air; nothing but joy surrounded them.

‘Why am I here?’, I thought to myself.

The streetlight flickered; it flickered more and more. Was it trying to send a message?

Darkness surrounded the car; the feeling of joy disappeared, scattered outside the car rather than in it.

The flickering got more aggressive.

Looking at the side, I couldn’t tell what light it was coming from.

A light inside the car shone, almost blinding me.

It was a phone, a phone with a red case, white flowers. Just like the one I had on my phone.

I saw the lockscreen before the text. The blonde-haired, brown eyed, innocent little boy was standing next to a girl. The girl in the car, brunette with wavy hair, blue eyes, pale.

‘’identical’’, I whispered.

After the first text came another, it read:

‘From Dad; where are you?’, ‘It’s getting late, Jack needs to be home soon.’

Silence filled the air once more.

‘’I’ll reply to it’’ the boy said.

It’s okay buddy, I got it, just hold on a second’’

She grabbed the phone, one hand on the steering wheel, the other typing rapidly. Her concentration slips between the road and her phone.

The car swerves between the white lines

‘’look forward!’’ the boy exclaims.

She pays no attention to him and carries on typing, her concentration slipping from the road in front of her.

‘’Emily’’ silence. ‘’please’’, he muttered.

The car swerves even more, she huffs. Both hands on the phone now. The only thing controlling the care is hope.

He sobs, ‘Emily!’ he yells, desperation in his voice.

I tried to talk, but nothing came out. Silenced.

The cars swerved, back and forth. In and out.

He pleads, he begs.

What do you want from me?’’ she screeches.

A shiver went down my spine.

Silence.

She threw the phone down, hitting the boy’s hand. He didn’t even flinch.

She grabs the steering wheel with her left hand, her mind clearly still not concentrated on the road.

Headlights emerge from the foggy darkness, before there is any time to react. The car swerves, tyres shriek. The radio plays the same song, the words leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

Everything spins.

I close my eyes; I brace for impact.

Silence.

My eyes shot open, my head pounding. I look up, I am back on the pavement I was before. Looking, watching.

‘’Emily!’’ came a blood-curdling scream

‘’how could you not remember’’, came next.

The car is engulfed in smoke, and the trees blur between the fog.

Slowly, the smoke evaporates, leaving nothing but them.

Sirens in the distance, the look of desperation on both of their faces.

Paramedics running, people yelling for help. Head spinning. Helpless.

‘’Emily’’, he pleaded.

It’s okay, it’s going to be okay, buddy. I love you, remember that. I will always love you. I want you to be brave, I want you to look after Dad. Make sure he eats properly. Do your homework, go to school. It’s going to be okay. I am always here for you, don’t forget that. Now I want you to look forward, don’t argue, just do it’’ she hesitated. Just look forward.

He did as she said. Looking forward eyes fell down his face.

She reached over and grabbed his hand, interlocking fingers. Hope surrounded them.

What felt like forever passed by. The wind howled.

His hands, bruised, bloody.

Her hand goes limp, no longer intertwined.

Red oozes from her head, her eyes shut.

The paramedics rushed in, grabbed her.

Counting, ‘’one, two, three’’ one yells. She needs more air, says another.

‘’look forward’’, he repeats. ‘’just look forward’’.

We need to get her to a hospital STAT, was exclaimed.

Slowly, he opens the door handle, and the door creaks open.

Blood pours down his forehead. His knuckles were bloody, eyes were still looking forward.

The wind growled. The sirens disappear into the distance.

The once innocent blonde-haired boy, now covered in a sea of red.

The lights flicker, more and more.

My head spins, and the car slowly drifts off.

Everything spins.

The park, the swings, the trees, the flickering stops.

‘The park,’ I whisper.

‘The park?’ I yell.

‘Why are we back in the park? What just happened?’, no response. All he could do was look forward.

My breathing became heavy, my bones weak.

Holding my knees close to my chest, ‘Who are you?’ I murmur.

‘I want you to remember,’ the boy responds

‘How could you forget?’, he still looks forward at the still road.

‘’ I don’t know what I have forgotten, I’m not Emily. Why have you done this to me?’’

I questioned, my head spinning more with every word I trembled to say.

For a moment, I thought he had gone; the only thing I could hear was the wind.

I turned my head slightly to look at him, a tear forming down his face.

‘’You told me it would be okay, you told me just to keep looking forward, Emily’’, he said, a new tear forming with every word.

‘’I’m not Emily’’, I repeated. The cold of the night and the rising frustration in my body, fighting with one another.

‘’You told me just to keep looking forward,’’ he repeated

‘’I’m not her’’ I whisper

‘’You were her before’’

Silence.

THE TRUTH

My knees dig tighter into my chest, my heart pounds so loud that it rings in my ear.

I force myself to snap out of it, to get back into reality.

My shoes were rubbing against my heels, and my dress was far too small to keep me warm.

I force myself up; the ground beneath me softens.

‘’No, this is not real, I am drunk,’’ I said with uncertainty.

I looked at the boy, and a smile appeared on his face. ‘’I need you to remember. Remember how you promised, remember how you said you were going to take me home. Remember how you left me, how you forgot about me.’’ Every word felt like a knife in my heart.

‘’I’m not her. I am not Emily, I yelled. Still convinced that none of this could be real. Forcing myself to stand up, I bring myself to take a couple of steps forward towards him.

Hesitation formed. What was I supposed to say next?

Before I could speak, ‘’look forward, he smiled.

My voice was stuck in my throat.

He points towards the road, never taking his eyes off the road.

Where am I looking?’’ I didn’t want to look, but a part of me was curious, a part of me felt guilty.

‘’look forward’’ he repeated’’

The trees blurred out of sight, and the swing set fell quiet. The wind was silenced. The flickering of the streetlight went still.

You told me you didn’t remember me, Emily. Worse, you told me you forgot me!’’, I didn’t respond. Scared to anger him further, I just kept looking forward. Waiting for something to happen, for something to appear. For the truth to reveal itself.

The longer we stand here in the cold, the longer you are going to realise I am not Emily. You have me confused.’’ Anger filled my body, the coldness of the night biting away at my skin.

Just look forward’’ he repeated, desperation surrounded his voice.

I sighed; I couldn’t leave him here by himself, but I could no longer justify standing here with him.

Nothing happened.

‘’you were her’’, he said. ‘’you were her, Emily’’

‘’ I am not Emily. Please, you must stop saying that’’ I pleaded with him.

‘’cause you are sky, you’re a sky full of stars’’, he sang

‘’Stop that, stop that!’’ I yelled

My words cut through the silence of the night.

‘’you don’t remember the song’’, his lips quivered. Tears form in his eyes. Never took his eyes off the road.

‘’No’’, I lied. Biting my tongue so hard that my teeth could’ve pierced through it.

But you used to sing it all the time. You sang it in the car, in the shower, you and dad used to sing it, you sang it in your room, you sang it even when you thought I wasn’t listening’’, The desperation in his voice was more prominent with each word he said. ‘’it was our song, you must remember’’, he was looking at me now. I couldn’t bare to look at him back, my eyes were forward.

Tears filled my eyes, and my head pounds.

‘’I need you to remember, I need you to remember me’’ he said

‘’Remember what?’’ I yelled ‘’I don’t know you, how am I supposed to remember someone I have never met before’’, barely holding myself together.

Silence filled the air. I looked down for a moment.

I felt his presence get closer to me.

Look forward’’ he whispered, his head turning towards the road in front of us.

Headlights lit the road ahead, coming from both directions.

The boy in the car- the boy in the car was the boy standing next to me. the girl next to him- my voice, my face- but I was standing here.

‘’I want you to see the truth, ‘’ the boy said quietly.

The song that I had pretended not to remember filled the car, along with laughter. A phone screen lights up, and anger pours out onto the girl’s face.

‘No!’, I yell. Trying to run forward to stop what was happening next, but my feet wouldn’t let me; they stood still. Stuck to the ground, make it stop, please make it stop’’ I begged.

Everything spins, and smoke crowds the air. Sirens blare.

I can’t look, I turn my eyes to the floor.

Silence.

I look up, No, no, no. Why would you do that? Where are they gone? We must help them!’’ I screamed, looking around for anything resembling reality.

You left me, you left me in the car. bleeding and looking forward. I watched them take you away from me. I watched your hand fall out of mine. I looked forward.’’ He yelled back at me.

My hand tingles, cuts form on my skin, and red ooze out of them.

‘’you’re Emily’’ he says softly.

‘’I’m Emily?’’ I questioned. The cuts on my skin are only getting bigger.

‘’They told me you were going to wake up, they told me you were just sleeping.’’ Anger was forming in his voice again. You were supposed to wake up You were just supposed to take me home. How could you forget?’’ his voice welling up.

‘’Jack’’, I murmured. ‘’I’m Emily’’ I said, the cuts on my arms slowly getting smaller. Smaller and smaller until they disappear.

The truth.

‘’Jack’’ our eyes meet. ‘’I can’t be Emily, I have never had a brother before’’ I looked at him up and down, memories of him and me shot through my brain.

You used to be. I used to be your brother, and you used to be my big sister, Emily. Before everything, you were Emily.’’

Memories of the accident flood my brain: the phone lighting up, the anger, the other car, the sirens, the headlights, the screeching, the screaming. Everything freezes.

His hand reaches out, but it slips through my shoulder.

‘I’m Emily.’’

Silence.

Author Notes: i havent been active on here for a hot minute, however i am writing more and hopefullt this shows :)

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