First Love Never Dies
It's been seventeen years........
I can still remember those thirty-eight years of friendship from the moment we were born. In those thirty-eight years were five years that he confessed his love for me. In those thirty-eight years was a year with him as my boyfriend and myself as his girlfriend. I those thirty-eight years was a year of planning for the wedding that we've been waiting for. And in those thirty-eight years were five years of marriage, of happiness, of togetherness and of genuine love that we've shared. He accepted me though I am barren.
It's been seventeen years.........
That one moment that changed our love into chaos flashes back to my memory. That one moment when a woman with a companion, her companion might be between eleven to thirteen years old, came running towards us, crying. That woman explained how her thirteen year old companion was their child......THEIR CHILD!
It's been seventeen years..........
Seventeen years since I went home rushing to the bedroom to get all of my clothes and go away from that moment. Seventeen years since he begged on his knees for forgiveness from me. Seventeen years since he pleaded me to stay. Sventeen years since we've seen each other. Seventeen years since I last confessed to him that I still love him but I had to let go of him for their daughter. But it was never seventeen years since I last thought how much I still love him and how much I long for him more and more each day, alone in my house in London, a country so far away from his and the old, happy memories that we've shared.
.........
Now, I'm already fifty-five years old and I still love him, and that love inside me grew and grew more each day of my life.
..........
I went back to my birthtown. Though I know that it would be a very risky move for me. I might see him again and talk to him again, but he's not the reason why I went back. I'm going to visit my nephews and neices and take Marissa to study in London. But, I know in my heart that I am still hoping.................. to see him again.
..........
I missed this park--the park where we always meet to play. As I was walking, I saw the old tree in the middle of the park and an old man sat beside that tree, tracing those three hearts marked on the tree trunk with his fingers. Those three hearts, I remembered were the ones we draw. The first one for our friendship. The second for our relationship and the third for our marriage. And that time I knew, it was him who was sitting beside the tree. Why? Does he still miss me? Does he still think of me? And the biggest question is, Does he still love me?
.........
I ran towards the tree and hugged him. He hesitated for a moment but he hugged me back. So tight I can't breathe. Maybe it was my smell that he recognized me because he told me, "You still use your favorite perfume, huh?" It was that moment that the heavy load on my chest was uplifted. I still love him and I'm sure that he still loves me too, because for the first time in a very long time, he told me, "I still love you." And there was no other words to give him in return but, "I still do too."
........
"Everyday of my life, I had been thinking about you. I always go here hoping you'll someday come here again and stay with me forever." he told me
" Me too." i answered.
"First love never dies, my friend." he told me
"Sure."
"But why did you leave me?"
"Because I needed to. Because we have no child and you and the woman had a child and I don't want your daughter to miss her father. Your daughter needs you."
"No. I have spent all my life loving you and i had been very careful. I know something happened between me and the woman but that has no meaning to me. And a year later we separated, I mean you and I separated, the DNA results showed that the child has no connection with me. And I waited for you. I never loved another woman because I know that you'll come back."
I was totally shocked. I left my man for a foolish trick. I've spent those seventeen years alone, without any company, without his love, without him........
"I'm so sorry."
"Now tell me. Did you ever loved another man?"
"Not at all."
"Will you marry me, again?"
I know that we are already old but that is never an excuse to love and be loved again.... The important thing is that we still love each other and we've been loving each other without us knowing in those wasted seventeen years. With this question from my man, there is no other lovely answer but,
"Yes."
........
Living in London with my neice and my man filled my life with happiness and only happiness. My man died at 82 for cancer, but, true love never ends. I know he is waiting for me in the heavens, just like what he did as he waited for me everyday beside the old tree. The only difference is that he knows that my heart is his and his is mine. First love surely never dies........
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Philippines • 26 years old
