There was hope woven into the last sentence which gave this tale credence. The characters were authentic but not enough detail to make me care about them. The story unfolded well. I wanted to know what happened to these folks.

The pace was good but the formatting is not correct - sentences end in strange places, paragraphs are not defined very well. These things cause the reader to stumble and take away from the essence of the tale.

The writing is fluent and very readable. Point of view and tense are defined.

The narrative voice is strong and distinctive. The descriptive setting is adequate. The subject matter is well defined and thought-provoking.

Observation and descriptive efforts are adequate but could be vivid and strong with a little attention to detail.

This story is a diamond in the rough and could be the glittering gem it deserves to be with a little attention to detail. Suggest reading aloud or having it read aloud. This technique brings to the forefront those areas that need attention.