There's a very fine line between love and hatred. I hope you have found or will find how to cross that line peacefully and love yourself in the end. Hatred is a very powerful emotion. Be careful.
This is is what runs through my head everyday, but surround yourself with things you love. It will help, think positive, I know it’s hard, I experience it too. I know you wrote this a long time ago, so I hope you feel better, if not I sincerely hope you do.. I love your writing, please continue.