I Have to Believe

By NobodyImportant

Smoking cigarettes down to the filter

Drinking till it’s gone

I swear I’ll never forget you

But always life goes on.

I can never forget you

Your words or your laugh

Living and loving each day

As though it were your last

Everything seems surreal

I’m numb yet I hurt.

I don’t know if I can handle what I feel

I can’t seem to find the words.

You saved my life and I never told you

You’re the reason I’m alive.

You pulled me back from the death I sought

And raised me back to life.

These words could never be enough

So I write them for me

To make myself feel okay

Make myself believe

I believe you’re in a better place

I believe you’re happy there

I believe one day I’ll be okay

Even without you here.

You were never perfect

But no one ever could be

Whether you knew it or not,

You, AP, changed me.

Author Notes: I miss you. A lot. More than I want to.

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