Important Letters: Momma
By Child_of_God
Dear Mom,
Why exactly did you leave? You told me a lie. What you told me isn’t true. There is something weird going on with you. I don’t understand. I wasn’t your favorite then and I am still not. I don’t really care if I am your favorite but I just want to feel like you actually care. I feel like you are buying me all of these gifts to get me to say I love you. I don’t tell anyone. For a couple of reasons actually. 1) I don’t feel worthy of love. 2) Who in their right mind would love me. 3) You were my best friend and you left. You fucking left me. You didn’t even say goodbye. For 5 years, I cried. I cried myself to sleep. I cried every day hoping you would call. You didn’t even call on my birthday. I waited for you year after year. I started to believe that you were never coming back so I started cutting my wrists because I felt like I had no one like I had you. I stopped cutting because it wasn’t helping with my pain anymore so I attempted suicide. I tried it 11 times total. You didn’t even know I was in the hospital hoping you would call at that moment and realize what you did wrong. I was giving up on life but you didn’t know. Were you just too stuck up and worried about yourself? Was I not good enough for you? Was it my fault that you left? Why did you fuckingn leave me? I was only 10 years old. What the fuck did we do. You say it hurts you but does it really? Do you even realize how bad it hurt me? You were the only person I ever said I loved but now I can’t say it at all. Momma please, Tell me why you left. Please. Why did you fucking leave me?
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