Incommunicado in Womyoonadado
By JPYoung
On a beach in Australia, a Bordoodle waited indefinitely…
The Resort
‘”Womyoonadado”’ is the Aboriginal word for “anything you want it to be”’, responded the receptionist, ‘It sounds a lot more exotic than Mahoney’s Cove.’
‘Which Aborigine language is it from?’
‘We just made it up, like everyone else does. ”In Womyoonadado” rhymes with “incommunicado”; what everyone wants to be here…right?’
‘You’re reading me like a book. I don’t have a phone because the last freedom is to be incommunicado. I’m not giving that up for access to cat videos.’
‘We could have called it Rinhogleeto; that rhymes with “incognito”. As you know, we specialise in confidentiality, hence the cash payments.’
Though she wore a screaming-red blazer, her blue eyes exuded tranquillity and tousled blond hair advertised unconventionality. She imparted the feeling he was a long-lost friend. Her nametag led him to address her like a confidant,
‘Like the good old days of “passion pits” and “dirty weekends”, Skye?’
‘That’s where I came from’, she replied as she handed him his room key.
He thanked her, then paused to look at the swimming pool.
‘Go for it!’
He quickly unpacked and changed from his grey suit and blue tie into navy-blue swim trunks, polo shirt and slider sandals, returned to the pool and dived in the deep end. His problems melted away in the warm water.
School holidays were over, so there were no screaming children; there wasn’t anyone. After a few laps he headed towards the high-power water jet shooting into the pool that soothingly massaged his back. Sheer delight…
The Balcony
His room featured the typical modern hotel décor. He recalled Dictators' Homes: Lifestyles of the World's Most Colourful Despots; with the author Peter York’s observation that most dictators’ homes resembled hotel rooms because they spent most of their lives in them.
His balcony faced the setting sun and the docks where those who arrived by water moored their craft. Layers of rocks supported the banks covered with grass. Out towards the river was a line of mangroves, beyond that a forest of tall she-oaks. Green permeated the mirror-like water that evening breezes blew a rippling pattern upon. A waddling of ducks flew in and landed like flying boats, then flew to the top of the seawall to sit watching the view as he did with his tea. Birds perched in the surrounding eucalyptus trees began their songs and arguments.
Relax…
The local club wasn’t too far away. He ordered a glass of Merlot, salad with Balsamic and pasta with Napoli sauce; all were excellent.
The Dawn
He woke to the sound of splashing.
Making a cup of instant coffee supplied in the room, he placed his red and black Hong Kong short sleeved smoking jacket over his black sleep shorts and watched the show along with the ducks.
A white fish was showing off by leaping in the air and back into the water making a pattern of geometrically perfect rings. The morning slowly grew brighter; the darkness of the wet rocks showed it was low tide.
The Cove
His resort wasn’t far from the beach…Skye wished him the best….
‘You’ll never know what you’ll find in the cove…’
After the green of the grass and the tan of the sands, the water resembled a blue rainbow; different shades of blues and aquamarine displayed the depth levels. Towards the sea and surrounding the area were tan shale formations, one resembling a miniature mountain. He had a vision of rabbits performing an Iwo Jima flag raising.
Placing his blue and white towel on the sands and his slides footwear on the edge of the towel, he removed his blue polo shirt, putting it inside his army kit bag on top of the brim of his Panama hat and towel.
The few people there were courteously quiet. The temperature was perfect, there was no surf to speak of.
La fin de saison est parfaite…
Swimming out to a suitable depth he swam back and forth across the cove, then floated on his back to enjoy the blue ambiance…
The Woman
A swimmer in a large face mask and snorkel glided towards him from the outlying sea; dived like a cormorant, then surfaced closer to him. He waved.
She moved surprisingly fast in the depths, rose up next to him and lifted her face mask. Framed by auburn hair, her hazel eyes bored through him.
He smiled,
‘I hope you don’t have a spear gun; I’m a protected species.’
Her intense eyes laughed before her mouth did.
‘Rich men are protected species?’
‘I just live like one.’
‘Anna…’
‘Any palindrome’s a pal-at-home…Are you a mermaid or a siren?’
‘I love Splash and the animated Little Mermaid!’
‘I like Night Tide.’
‘Is that about a mermaid too?’
He nodded. She smiled,
‘I’m from a realm at the bottom of the sea.’
‘Canberra?’
‘The Province of Meaning.’
‘Is that like the Province of Nova Scotia?’
‘Alfred Schutz said the provinces of meaning in everyday life are a resilient response to imposed relevances. When everyday life becomes boring, I enter the province of play.’
‘You’re tattling on Schutzie! You’ve got to be a public servant!’
She giggled,
‘Guilty as charged! But I’m on a lower level of the food chain, otherwise I’d take offence.’
‘An umbridge too far…The higher-ups of the public service look and act like kids who were bullied at school and want to get back at someone…’
Her eyes showed him he was right,
‘You’re from the Province of Nova Scotia?’
‘No, I’m from the other Sydney; but I had a friend whose ancestor was a Baronet of Nova Scotia. The title became dormant because only males could claim it; that kept her from doing Kind Hearts and Coronets.’
She gave a puzzled look.
‘Better living through assassination; or…how to succeed in social climbing without really trying…by others dying.’
Her voice no longer had any delight,
‘You can explain that over coffee.’
‘My wallet’s back in my room.’
‘My shout. You can get lunch.’
‘Can do!’
As they swam ashore, she speeded up, he began to race, she beat him by several lengths. As they left the water, he noticed a single tattoo of a black widow spider on her inner thigh. Her aquazebra-striped string bikini left nothing to the imagination…he knew what he wanted to do…
‘What’s the “G” stand for in “G-String”?’
‘Goodies!’
He sang ’Anal Floss’ to the tune of Edelweiss in his mind…
They walked along the beach to where a hairy black dog with a white blaze was guarding a towel and a beach bag.
‘This is Tosh, my Bordoodle.‘
‘Your what???’
‘Border Collie Poodle cross…bord-oodle!’
‘I’ll bet he knows some good shaggy dog stories…’
‘He guards my things.’
‘Hence the “bored” in “doodle”. Like an American Express card, you don’t leave home without him. Are you going like that? I’m sure we’ll get a table.’
‘I’ve a Rashie.’
‘A rash from what?’
She placed on an attractive floral dress from her beach bag.
‘A Rashie’s a dress you wear over your swimsuit. Rashie’s a brand name.’
She produced a broad brimmed hat with matching scarf hatband from her bag. He took it off her head, then placed it back on her head singing,
‘A hat’s not a hat ‘till it’s tilted…’
Coffee
At one of the outside tables Anna announced,
‘What do you want? It’s on me.’
‘Regular long black please.’
‘Would you like some milk with it?’, the waitress asked
‘Long black.’
‘Some people like a splash of milk with their coffee, but one man’s splash is another woman’s torrent, so people add the milk themselves.’
Anna excused herself to freshen up, leaving him with Tosh. As Tosh wasn’t talkative, he massaged him as he read a local newspaper featuring the theme of water safety. There was a story about a 74-year-old windsurfer who pulled a swimmer in her 20s to safety after she was caught in a riptide. The body of a second drowned person, also from Sydney like a previous one, had been recovered and the next of kin informed. Visitors were notified they should only swim between the flags and heed the lifesaver’s instructions.
Tosh’s excitement revealed Anna’s return.
‘Sure you won’t have bacon and eggs?’
‘Thank you, no. I’ll save myself for lunch.’
‘I only swim in the mornings, evenings, and night, as you can see by my complexion. I see by your tan you’re always out and about.’
He recalled the American 39th Infantry’s motto,
‘“Anything! Anytime! Anywhere! Bar nothing!”’
‘You’re my kind of man! Do you like surf beaches?’
‘Body surfing.’
‘We’ve time before the sun comes out too much and it’s lunch time.’
Lunch
They returned to his resort in her grey Toyota Corolla.
Skye was still on the job. She joked with him, but there was no conversation between the broadminded gregarious Skye and Anna.
They entered his room,
‘Want to watch me get dressed?’
She put her arms around him,
‘I’d rather watch you get undressed…’
Usually, a tattoo was an anaphrodisiac to him, but…
The air conditioning was perfect, the heavy curtains kept out the sunlight as they undressed and spent the afternoon in passion…she wasn’t naturally auburn…
Tosh snoozed on the shaded balcony with a bowl of water.
He recalled the definition of ‘family hotel’ being ‘men and their nieces’.
Night Tide
They showered; he made tea as Anna’s brought her luggage from her car.
In a reverse of a strip tease, she dressed in quality lingerie and the most beautiful maxi evening dress he’d ever seen. It resembled a sea storm with gold lightning and grey clouds over the ocean. Up close it was Chinese lotus flower patterns in brilliant colours. The dress fit Anna’s figure and personality equally.
‘You’re an elegant I’ll never forget…’
She thanked him with a ravishing smile.
He wore a light blue shirt with his grey suit, then tied his black tie.
‘Not many men here wear a tie…’
‘I’m so straight they call me “the ruler’s edge”.’
‘Looks like you’re going to a funeral.’
Wispy clouds, frantic ants dashing about and the laughter of kookaburras shouted that the weather would change for the worse.
I’m a human lightning rod; danger comes out of the skies to me. In return I’ve a sensitivity that others called ‘paranoia’.
Her dinner conversation was as sparkling as her dress.
They returned to his room and dressed for the beach.
‘If you haven’t swam at night, you haven’t swum at all.’
There was only the sound of small waves breaking on the shore. A massive flock of seagulls stood on the wet sand looking out to sea, until Tosh gleefully chased them away.
They placed their towels and bags side by side.
‘Race you out there!’
‘I’ll eat your bubbles.’
She kept swimming further out…
‘Let me rest a bit, Anna.’
She waited for him, then enthusiastically kissed him. He felt one of her arms around his neck, the other formed a stranglehold.
He gave her a powerful blow and pulled her down; she sucked up the water in her throat, struggled and sank. She shouldn’t have taken him that far out.
Life’s a beach…then you die…
Both the drowned victims from Sydney had stayed at his resort, both had been seen with an unidentified woman with a black dog.
Termination
Skye wasn’t at the reception desk…
He entered his room to see her packing all his things in a giant bag; he noticed an identical seduce and destroy black widow tattoo on her inner thigh.
The look on her face was priceless. He threw her a bluff,
‘Your anti-surf lifesaver associate told us the whole story. If you looked in my wallet, you’d know who I work for...’
‘I didn’t look at your wallet, let me see.’
He grabbed the back of his room’s chair with a strong grip.
As Skye reached into her purse, she pulled out a Beretta Jetfire widowmaker; he dynamically threw the chair that hit his target of her face,
‘THE WINNER!!!’
She flew backwards, fatally falling off the balcony; the ducks flew off; she laid lifeless below on the concrete path,
When you play deadly games, you win deadly prizes...
* * *
On a beach in Australia, a Bordoodle waited indefinitely…
FIN
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