A Light at the End of the Tunnel Reviews
As presented this story is 'okay'. However, with some work and a lot more detail in places it could be a very good story. Some of the 'action sequences' are too brief and skirted-over rather than explained, for example.
You have a good imagination, which is the one thing that comes across clearly in your story. More practice will improve your writing skills, as will reading works by similar authors. Good stuff! :-)