Lost Years

I grew up in an environment that didn't accept me, so I wasn't really me. Instead, I was whoever I was expected to be. I didn't get to find myself when everyone around me was exploring themselves.

Now I can finally be myself and I'm so grateful, but I mourn what could've been. And I know I was always going to grow up, but why can't I have discovered myself as that was still happening? I feel like I'm just starting, when time's already almost up.

I get so much joy from expressing myself now, but that just makes me realize how much was taken away from me. I want to be an awkward teen struggling with self image, not a confident adult who's gotten bitter...

No, it's really not that dire. I'm happy with who I am, but I just feel like I missed out on so much. I'm fine with how things are and I know I'm a whole lot happier than I used to be, but I wish I would've gotten to experience that phase of life for myself.

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