Manapause, by Dr. Philbilly

Recently I was working in Duluth , MN and I woke up one Sunday morning with a bad crick in my neck. I got up in sub-zero weather and went down to the local Walgreens to get some heat strips to put on it.

I found the aisle they were on but realized I had forgotten my reading glasses. I figured they were all about the same so I just picked out a box that looked like it should work. I'm hurting so bad that when I get back to my room I just rip open the box and put it on my neck... dang it felt so good. This should do the trick real fast like and in a hurry.

After a few minutes I put on my glasses to read the package to find out how long I should keep it on and how often to swap it out for a new one. As I started to read the instructions something didn't seem quite right. Apparently I now have a heat strip stuck to my neck meant for menstrual cramps. Really!?! You have got to be kidding me? It's below zero outside and there is no way I'm going back to the store. Besides, it seemed to be working so I just let it go. No one will ever know.

Well that turned out to be a huge mistake. About an hour later I start getting hot flashes and I'm balled up on the couch with a box of tissues crying like a baby at a stupid Lifetime movie. I feel bloated, my nipples are sore and I'm just an emotional wreck. Not really sure what was worse. The crick in my neck or going through manapause. On the bright side I didn't have to shave for a week... I'm just sayin'.

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