My Escape
By Annielol399
I don’t have many friends
I tend to sit alone
Walk alone
Nothing new
I have my love
It’s not the same
I can’t be me
Parents don’t understand
But that’s what every teen states right?
That no one gets them?
3 years now in this state of mind
Can’t take it another day
When I got sick,
This extreme sadness hit me
Freshman year
It’s never been the same since
Didn’t feel love
Abandoned
Ashamed of myself
My body
If I had the chance to, I’d smash each mirror
Into a million pieces
Don’t care if I get bad luck
I’m already at my low point in life
Went to look for help
Everything got worse
Lost friends along the way
Each time, a deeper sadness hits me
Wanting to escape
Other times, I somehow feel normal
Like I can give my love what he deserves
It hurts when I can’t though
When I can’t give him what he deserves
He should just leave
He deserves better
So much better than me
I don’t know what he sees in me
I don’t know why anyone would bother sticking with me
Many people have worse lives than me, no doubt
Everyday I want to help
But it’s hard while fighting my own demons
People think I’m a rude person
That I have attitude
That that’s the reason I don’t really have friends
Thing is, they don’t know me
They don’t know why I seem that way
Think I’m making up a story
Maybe this is what this all is..
A story
A story of my life no one will ever read
No one will ever notice
Notice me crying myself to sleep
Every night
Wishing I could help my friend and boyfriend
I try each day to seem happy for him
Some days it works
Others, I just can’t hide it so well
I’m tired of hiding
I just want to be how I feel inside
Let it all out
I wish I could tell my own parents
They think it’s all a story
That I just want attention
All I want is to feel normal
Just for one day
Maybe someday I can escape all of this
I won’t have to hurt anymore
From abandonment
From my body image
From everything hurting me
From me hurting others
Everyday, I will look for that day
That will be the best day of my life: To escape.
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