My Thoughts

By PandaPegasus05

People always say that I am enough, that I should be myself. However, I am insecure. I have no idea who the 'real' me is. I know I'm sad. I know I'm full of anxiety. I know that if I let that show, people will think I am begging for attention. I will disguise my sadness as happiness and cover my insecurities with fake confidence. My anxiety turns into "I'm fine," or "I'm okay. I'm just tired". Being tired is usually the truth but it's not because of lack of sleep. It's because I'm simply tired of living. I'm tired of fighting an endless battle. Every bone and every muscle in my body is constantly aching because the fight just goes on and on, never stopping just to give me a couple second break. It doesn't help that my mind never rests. Especially at night when I'm by myself and only have my thoughts to keep me company. That includes my insecurities, my sadness, depression, and suicidal thoughts. I will always feel terribly alone. People say "Aw. I will always be here for you," or "You won't always be lonely", but I'm only in middle school. How can you promise me that now? What happens when everyone leaves for college? Not everyone goes to the same college, right? So why give me false hope and lies? They do nothing but add more depression and sadness to my thoughts. I don't know who I am, and I'm afraid I never will.

Author Notes: This is not mine. This, and some others, are written my my friend. Comment what you think.

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