Okay... This was just confusing all together. The starting character says "How was your weekend?" and in reply the second character says "Not very much"???? Like you can either say "good", "bad", or something in between- Y_Y. And like I think it's cool when people start off a story with dialogue but it kinda ruins it when the text makes no sense.

Hate to make a whole speech about this but... there's more. When I read the part "clicks and tapings" I thought it was some sort of phrase. So I went to my good ol' friend google and asked 'em what it meant. Nothing. And I thought that google was supposed to know everything. But, y'know, maybe you could explain that to me. So I continued reading the sentence and it left me... speechless. I just could NOT follow. (In the best worst way possible <3) I guess the rest of the paragraph was a bit good. Like it was interesting to know that it had a nice view of the outdoors.

And then the grammar in "I will check on with you" with Mr. Conner. Not gonna touch onto that cuz I think I know what you mean already. BUT. IN THE NEXT PARAGRAPH- *cough cough*- Anyways... "The girl sighs either to call the boy or to express her swirling boredom." Like, how is a sigh supposed to get the boy's attention (if that's what you meant by call the boy..). And- eh- I don't think swirling is the right word for that.

Then the siren alarm thingy went off yada yada- Which was pretty intense. So nice job ^^ (Besides a few words that weren't necessary and phrases that could've been worded differently.)

And then sussy little Mr. Conner came out of his wee rabbit hole -_- Honestly we need a part 2; what's under the hat??

BUT ANYWAYS- BACK TO THE REAL REASON THAT I AM REVIEWING THIS--

TOMATOES *CLAP* ARE *CLAP* FRUITS *CLAP CLAP CLAP*
how DARE you >:0

And to think lavorish, a person who always gives 4 stars to stories for making little mistakes, gives you 5 stars?? This is not fair lavorish!! I SWEAR- I'M GONNA GET OUT MY CHANCLA AND WHEN I FIND YOU-

*cough cough* Uhm. Nice story <3