it is really powerful

Shocking, gripping, utterly beautiful. The story is sad and gripping, painful even though I wasn’t in it. It hurts to see this struggle and it’s so conflicting. The beauty in the way that not only did he hurt her because he loved her, but he tried to make up for the hurt by comforting and loving...that’s so heartbreaking. Then the curveball of forgiveness. It’s ironic, really, that the events of the story were so predictable, yet because of the way you executed the story, it still made me feel like I was apart of it. I felt the emotions too. Your detail wasn’t too explicit, but dear God you chose the perfect wording and phrasing and you set the perfect tone for the scenes and you knew how to keep the mood and setting and you knew how to touch on very specific details like descriptions and emphasis on wording and how emotion affected the characters so perfectly....I forgot I was reading a story written by a 14 year old. MAGNIFICENT! I really could and most likely will read this story MULTIPLE Times, I’m already sharing it with my friends and family, expressing how gripping and deep it is. You...just wrote an entire script for a movie scene that would make the world cry in less words than maybe the equivalent of 5 pages in a book. You are truly talented and I really look forward to reading your other works. I hope you continue writing!

I just was shocked at the brilliance of this story. It's just perfect. Keep on writing! You have a talent!

Woah. That was brutal. My feelings just kinda crumbled in the corner. The turns, the changes, the effects. I don't know how to feel about this, my emotions have blended together into everything. I find myself feeling overjoyed, depressed, surprised, humored, and everything all at once. Maybe that makes me insane. Otherwise, It was a little tough to get through, so I recommend spreading out your paragraphs, and starting a new line for speech. Some grammer mistakes, but otherwise, the story is amazing. You are so close. "You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece" You are so close.