I'm not really sure what it was you were trying to do with this story. It appears to start in one direction then veer off in to another without any sort of sense or reason.

I get the impression that you had an idea for a story, but have not been able to execute it as well as you'd hoped. It's all a little confused. Any story should have the basic structure of beginning, middle and end. This sort-of starts, gets somewhat confused and ends. Overall it is disappointing.