ST. GEORGE'S Reviews
I like the concept of this story, and the language is interesting and readable. What's missing is characterization. I don't see any protaganist, so it's kind of hard to get emotionally involved and take the concept seriously. I feel like it's a good start on an idea but it needs "fleshing out" (pun intended) to work as a story.
Thanks for sharing it!
There are some really good parts to this story: atmosphere-building and scene-setting for sure. Where is really falls flat for me is the actual 'horror' scenes. They are told in such a flat and bland tone that they fail to resonate emotionally or viscerally.
Horror is one of the most difficult genres to write successfully and/or effectively. Much really good horror writing is not really very graphic: it's mostly about suggestion, subtle hints and manipulating the readers' imagination. Steven King is the master at it, and he is rarely as graphic in his writing as you have been in your story.
It IS a good story, definitely. My review is just an opinion. Others will disagree and rave about it. :-)
There is something lacking in the story - for my taste at least - which is why I left the review I have. I stand by my comments.
I will no doubt reiterate this, but with your fixed views on how things should be written, the style of writing, etc, and rereading your story it seems to me that you perhaps are not really a creative writer. You seem on the flimsy evidence I have before me to lack the imaginative energy that is required. Never