I've never felt so hated
I've never felt more alone.
What did I do?
I know friendships fade,
But why are they treating me this way?
Do they not see the way their words sting me,
Cut me to the quick?
My heart is in shreds.
I just don't understand.
I was doing good,
but now I'm depressed once again.
Do they see my pain,
And just don't care?
Would the bronze care if I was gone,
If they never saw me again?
I used to say I had lots of friends
But now I'd say the number of friends that are true is three,
With only one who truly knows and understands me.
I'm living for them and my family,
I can't put them through the pain I feel,
Can't hurt them like that.
In living, I protect them and shield them,
So they don't have to feel my dark.
I'll hide again
Pretend again that everything is okay
My mask is pretty good nowadays.
But truthfully, when you ask how I am
And I say great or I'm fine,
Chances are
That's a lie.
But how do I say
"I'm not okay"
I think, most days,
I just need someone to see.
See me.
Lift my head, hold me close, don't let go.
I need to know, you'll love me and never leave me.
And of the three that are true,
I fear that there is only one
Who will never leave when they see my dark.
And you, my dearest friend, you reflect the light when I can't see it.
I hope none of you, the truest three, will never leave me
Alone and in the dark.
But anyone I love can hurt me.
I don't give out love carelessly,
Don't toss it around
If I love you
I won't leave you,
Even if I don't come around as much.
You, we've been friends for years.
Countless soccer games,
Playing while our brothers played.
And you, you're my little sister
Yet you follow along as they cut me.
You, I was there for you when you needed me most.
I'm the reason you have the other bronze.
So what did I do wrong?
Why do you hate me now?
Why am I
'The Big Bad Wolf'
I don't know if you see you hurt me
I don't know if I'll ever tell you these things.
I'll pretend things are fine,
Probably never let the mask slip around you three, the bronze.
In front of the two,
They will see some of me.
But I fear they too will leave me if they know.
But there's my one, the one who knows me.
To you, I can say,
I'm not okay.
You see my blotchy, tear-stained face.
Would things change for the better
Would things change for the worse
Or would nobody care
If they saw
My blotchy, tear-stained face.
Maybe I'll always be the Big Bad Wolf to them
And maybe their words will forever echo in my head.
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