The Hole I Dug

I've forgotten how to vent my feelings,

I've tried everything in the past,

A pretty dress with pretty black lace underneath,

But that love I've learned will never last,

I've hidden behind my art and writing,

But it never works,

I end up seeing my faults once again and in bad lighting,

I just keep feeling this emptiness inside me,

Like I can't escape from myself,

Like I've been pushing down this fear and I can never be free,

I feel like there's something wrong with who I am,

And no matter how hard I've tried I can't fix it,

All of my terror is being held at bay by this indestructable dam

And no matter how hard I've tried I can't break it

No matter how many times I put on that dress,

I always settle

Always accepting less,

I feel so empty,

Like I have this endless pit,

And I can't handle it anymore,

It's become stronger the longer I've let it sit,

I want to feel complete again but I have this hole

I dug it trying to save myself but now I can't get out,

And I've tried so hard to escape,

But nothing works no matter how loud I shout,

I don't know how to feel right anymore,

And I'm stuck by the dam screaming at the top of my lungs

But there's no one but me here on this shore