The Indescribable Feeling Reviews
I think that the concept and feeling that the poem gives is amazing and most definitely wanted!
One thing that you might want to work on is the feeling, the rhythm of the lines. They have to flow together seemlessly, and right now there are a few minor bumps in them.
I love your writing so far and cannot wait to hear more from you!!
gave a good warmth feel when i read it
Your poem title conflicts with the actual poem: how can you describe something "indescribable"?
Again, as mentioned before, some of your rhymes are forced: "And his cute little chin/Which is smaller than the head of the pin" is simply ridiculous and negates the whole poem. There are other lines, too, that are equally as dubious...
I admire the fact you try. If you take on board the advice you are given your writing will certainly improve. Keep practicing! :-)
Good job! I just have a small suggestion. Some lines in the poem are a bit long, so it breaks the flow for the person reading it.
For example, the line "Her feeling now is better than the biggest surprise" is a bit too long to fit there. Try working on this and it'll be much better. Keep writing :)