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The Legend of Hatten House Reviews

apemann
Andy (Formerly Apemann) gave a rating of 2

From the very first word - Abbey - I was disappointed. Your spelling is inaccurate: the usual abbreviation of the name Abigail (which I'm assuming is what was intended) is either Abby or Abbi. Your spelling refers to a religious building!

In the first three sentences you use the word 'job' three times. This is clumsy writing and poorly thought through. It jars badly when reading the paragraph.

That discordant theme runs right through your story: it's all a little 'clunky' and not very well explained or set out. It feels like you had an idea (and, I hasten to add, not an original one, either!) but didn't really know how to put it to paper. The result is an unsatisfying 'taster' that doesn't fulfil its promise.

There IS the germ of a good story here, but it needs a lot of work and thought to bring it to full fruition.

1
skgriffie
skgriffie Abbey is spelled correctly. That is how people spell the name.
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