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SANDMAN gave a rating of 1

I was unable to review this story properly for several reasons. First, the formatting of the copy is not correct. Sentences break in strange places. I wasn't sure where paragraphs began and ended. The problem could be in the submitting process to 101. If you use Word, you have to dump the data in one of the assigned tabs at the top of the submission form.

There should be a lead-in paragraph identifying the characters. There are names but I didn't know who they were or what their relationship was with each other. 'She' and 'We' are used often but I wasn't sure who they were.

Overall, there appears to be an interesting story from an unusual point of view - the rats. The narrative voice is strong. The setting could use more detail to give the reader a firm perspective of where the tale was taking place.

The characters need more definition. The pace of the story was good. The imagination of the author is excellent.

This story is worth a rewrite and additional attention to detail to bring it into the full flower is deserves.

Ciao, JT


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