The Shortest Dead End Reviews
I agree with Fate that it's good. It's something that you can certainly build upon. The one thing that I wished for, though, is something more finished. It feels like the beginning of something. Something good, perhaps? I, personally, like conclusions or cleverly open-ended stories that leave me with thought.
This piece has some minor mistakes and it seems a little force out but it is still good. One advice is try not to use the same word too much. Like "girl" was used. You want to avoid that. Still this was an interesting beginning and I look forward to read what else you got.
Have a good afternoon
Another slap-dash effort full of spelling mistakes.
It's a bit of a mish-mash of half-formed ideas and thoughts that you have inadequately thought through before committing to paper. This is a common fault with your work: you try to cram big ideas and stories into too few words instead of..
You can do better and you should be doing better. You are too wrapped-up in being annoyed with me to take on board the advice I have previously given you. That's to your detriment.