The Taken Reviews
There is potential here for a really interesting and engaging story. However, by rushing through it in the manner you have so far, you are in danger of ruining what you are trying to achieve.
Take more time to fully explore you characters, to develop your plot and storyline and to write it so that it doesn't read like you could not wait to get down all the words before you forgot them. As an outline story, this works very well, but it needs work to develop it into the fleshed-out and fully rounded tale it deserves to be.