I agree that this could be outstanding if developed further. Obviously, it seems a little confusing at first as we are bombarded with so many fantasy characters so quickly, but there is an awful lot of good stuff here to work with.... Please stick with it and tell us some more.....

This has the unmistakable feel of high fantasy, with multiple races mentioned in chapter one, and just a general vibe of a huge world to learn more about. It's cool! It's a little vague at some parts, and SOME of the dialogue seems a little forced, but those are minor complaints, and they come along with early drafts! This is really good, and I have to ask.... what was the teacher expecting? They gave you a D? Were they asking for nonfiction or something?!?!

Spectacular writing! Who said this deserved a D?! Teachers, man..., *shakes head*
Anyway, you could be the next big fantasy writer with this gorgeous prose and style! And the cliffhanger... OoO!