Theresa May lies again about her "strong and stable leadership"
By RW
Theresa may has promised for the 20th time that her government will bring the strong and stable leadership that the UK needs, despite there already being numerous fuck ups in her 9 months in office.
Speaking to the hard right BBC journalist Laura Kuenssberg, the dictator said: "Despite the fact that I have already made more than a dozen U-Turns and have absolutely no plans for brexit I still believe that I am the best person to lead the UK because all the other party leaders care about democracy and the poor. Meanwhile I am committed to starving the homeless and the poor while introducing policies that benefit rich Tory voters. Although my predecessor said the exact same phrase 2 years ago, I really mean it, despite the UK going down its most unpredictable path on years. As well as all this I can assure strong leadership because after this election I plan to ban all opposition and merge the positions of prime minister and Queen to create the position called the people's Führer, and I've already written my memoirs called "My Struggle", which will be taught in all schools form the beginning of next year. With absolutely no one to stop me from implementing my hard right policies, strong and stable leadership is surely guaranteed."
As Mrs Kuenssberg bowed down in the presence of the dictator, she said: "One final question Mrs Führer, what would you say to the voters planning to vote for the evil Jeremy Corbyn?" To which the dictator replied: "As I've always said Jeremy Corbyn is an evil communist that will turn the UK into North Korea and fail to deliver a patriotic red, white and blue brexit that will benifit the rich. If people do treasonously dare to choose to vote for anyone but me, they can be assured that they will either dissapear in the middle of the night or be stoned in public by my supporters."
After a long pause the dictator muttered "One People, One Nation, One Leader" before leaving the room to continue fucking the poor over and to work on the Thoughtcrime act of 2017.
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