They Aren't Alright

Waking up, covered in sweat. She feels as if she can never breathe, feels as if her entire world is collapsing in on itself. She feels their eyes always on her, always watching. She smiles and laughs, and no one notices how fake it is. They don’t see her staring at the ceiling of her room, tears staining her pillow, hands popping at the useless band at her wrist. She breathes, inhales and exhales. Her mind racing to the dark place she has begun to live in. She doesn’t want to die but she has no reason to live.

No sleep and no tears. Dark circles under his eyes, worrying all the time. Clenched hands and empty looks. He hears whispers chasing him around and he knows it is all in his head, but the feelings he cannot stop. He hides behind the books he reads, smiling only when needed. No one sees the words he carves onto his body, no sees the broken pieces he tries to glue together. He doesn’t want to die, he just sees no reason to live.

They aren’t who they appear to be, always trying to make everyone else happy. Checking themselves off a list so they don’t forget who everyone needs them to be. They cry in the shower, so they’re tears meld with the water. They leave no marks because they cannot have the world see them weak. They wear a mask of confidence but all they are is despair. They don’t want to die, but they see no reason to live.

Author Notes: Thank you for reading. I am here for you.

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