Trapped

sometimes someone hurts you so much,that the only thing you ever learn is how to hide that what happened to you was not a normal and healthy.

until you grow up and you start learning laws and you start learning that the one thing you grew up with was completly wrong that you were living in a house in a town were the only thing you could do was come home drunk on a friday night or in our town that was everynight.

we thought that this would get better but it only ever got worse.well i only got worse because i was the only one remebering everything from the moment i opened my eyes in the moring to the moment i close them at the end of the night. trappped inside my own home feeling like there was nowhere to go unable to see and feel the light. that i beleived was never going to show.

wishing that you wouldnt hear the silent screams that haunted your house, breaking glasses and shattering plates that covered the hard and cold floor slowly you learn to block the noise out coving every bit of noise with the music that you still repeat in your head when you get scared.

learning new names but never finding ones that understood your own. sitting behind the fallen trees on the feild at school wishing that someone came and gave you a hug.that someone was finnaly not scared of you, hoping that they didnt see you and run off.

hearing the police at the front door everymorning to see what happened the night before ,crying in your locked room waiting for someone to come get you to take you away

your past does not define you,but the thoughts that haunt your head define what you see and think so its harder for you to beleive that there is slight bit of hope and courage i wish i had someone to talk to and people helping me instead of ripping me down because i am my past so dont let your past define you.

becaue i let that happen because noboby told me that it was going to be ok and nobody told me that i would be ok

Author Notes: please share my stories with others thank you :)

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