my Name is nabila i came to united state since i was 13 years old girl with my family it was 14 when i came and i start middle school by 7 grade and with no english i was really depressed that i dont know anything i was really a shy little girl and coverd by hijab and hijab was my favorite thing to wear and i start going to school i was sitting in my class every single one of them was staring at my hijab and me and making fun of me that i dont know english i do othing in class just because idont know anything and i was so quiet and shy and when it was at lunch time no one were coming to me to talk to me or try to make me laugh i was just sitting on the corner and staring at each one them and thinking in my head that i wish i could be one them and speak in english louder and talk to everyone make them laugh even tho if they dont want it i will be the best student like them i was wondering of the time that i will be the smartest kid ever day by day just past and no one came to me to ask me if they wanna be my friends no one came to me i was just going to school as a silent school and getting bored inside class and sometimes i felt sleep and everyone was laughing at me and pointing at me that am a loser and i was still quiet until i finished middle school so i had so much in middle school i was always crying and everyone were staring at me and saying she is a drama queen let her be everyone left and it was just only me standing alone with no help and i was done with middle school i start high school with no english but i decied that i will never give up never i will try as much as i can but i will never let the win i will laugh at them one day and i was nervous about going to high school so first day of my high school i went to high school and everyone were staring at me again and checking my cloths and shoes i was like why are they staring at my loths and why is that because i didnt new that in high school everyone has a high class level wearing jordans adiddas and stuff i was like i dont know jordan and stuff what is it until i met some afghan students and i start talking to them and at the first day i was feeling so well they made me laugh i was so excited of meeting them and day past second day i went we become a really good friends one of them named Pakiza and others "sadaf,mohiba,simren,navnita they were my best friends they were so good and we were so happy between each other we were so close to each other everyone was like ohh look at them theyre always together and so happy theyre so close friends we had birthday parties and all fun stuff but suddenly at the last moments of our school year something happened that all of us got seperate it i never thought it will happen or i never thought that my own friends will lave me like that all alone with no support i was soo alone and heart broken i was soo depressed that how come a friend can leave you like this and accuse you for absloutly nothing they can believe a guy but they cant believe you and they cant hear you your own friends they all left me there with no help no support i was crying so loud and i kept it to myself i never shared this with anyone that how much i got hurt that they all got together and they left me i was soo confuse and crying at the same time that how come they left me ? after that i never looked at them again i turned my back to my past and every single one of them because if i was them i wont do that i would support them help them because friends are the ones who should stay by your side always even if its the worset situation thats why it calls "friends" year past my first day in school of my second year so that was the horrible and worse year i had yu had to face every single one of them the ones who left you at your worse time its so hard to face them because in my heart they were still alive i was like no theyre my friends i love them still but i will never go to them or i dont wanna face them so i did it but still they were crossing halls and throwing at me bad words like slut or your a bad girl or anything they wont leave anything they hurt me so bad that i will never forget never the next day they repeat theyre words again threwing bad words to me gasping behind my back laughing at me froma far and they told me that we will call your mom that your a bad girl i was like what did i do they were accusing me for no reason until i got panic attack just because of them i had the worset day in my life for the first time i had panic attack because of some bullshit afghan people and i gaurds tooked me in the office and i shared what ever had happened and they got me justice i was really happy my heart calmed and i was like whatever it is am a good person inside whats important always see you inside your heart people is opinion is not important not never its just you that kbows everything about self people are always talk bullshits just because they never see theyre selves they never see how theyre own selves are they never checked theyre selves theyre just wasting theyre time to think about you and say bullshits about you behind your back and until i met someone in my life named sarfaraz i met him he was my classmate in my english class he was so sweet so shy person but smart and handsome and i ws sitting at my sit and he came to me said hi to me and talked to me for few mins and he left i was so broke and hurt i was at the situation where i couldn'''t trust someone or ants to talk i avoided him but he was still coming to me and sharing his thoughts making me laugh i was laughing for the first time in my life and he was the one who made me laugh and i felt so good talking to someone and laughing i flt so strange with laughing but it was my special moment with him so we kept meeting and talking and year past m third year start some other afghan girls met me and became friends with me they were two sisters and one other girl name Rabia hussain and others Laila , Rukhshana they were pashtuns and we became so good friends at the first time and so day by day we were good with each ther until again i got batrayed from these girls i was sooo shocked because i got them i experienced that when someone dont want you or theyre jealous theyre making dramas and causing problems between each other and they did the samething with me they were accusing me for nothing so it was in the morning i was in my class sitting and my friend rabia i asked her hi and she were like ok bitch i was like she is not in mood or what so i was silent she got a text from her phone ad she head outside and when she came she seemed sso pissed of and she talked to me so rude and act like am no one so avoid her the bill ringed we head outside i was about to go to my net period and i saw them all and i said hi to them and they were all like ok bitch stay here we need to talk i was like whats going on i said it in a sweet way and i was msiling but they were so mad and they stayed in front of me and start accusing me for nothing and the girl named Nargis she said " why did yountold girls about me you talked shit about me that i wish nargis would die " i was soo shocked at the moment i just got silent i clear my throat and said what was that say it again i was like are you okay bitch i didnt said anything to anyone or about you and other girl named Laila she was the fake witness and she said "you said it i heard it and you told me by yourself "i was like shut the fuck up you bitch first off all why would i say somethng like that about her with you because i know were friends u will tell her behind my back what i v said and she got quiet and the other and named Rabia said "that nabila i am the fucking fake lair too you said it i heard it " at that moment i was just only thinking and wondered about one thing with myse;f that how stupid i am and stupidest i am that i made friends and i did the same mistake as last year i was so regret of my work and my tears rolled down of my cheeks i was sooo heart extremely heart that really friends are like this that i have what does friends really mean ? to hurt you to make you crazy to accuse you always to not suppourt you if its like that then i would never make friends in my life because theyre all pecie of shits i just right away blocked them and deleted theyre phone numbers ofmy contact and i told them that i dont know you guys from now on and you dont know me i just start walking i was really heart but still i was quiet and kept it to myself but on the day i had other panic attack in my class that one of stupid shits were there to one of afghan girls and i had panic attack i went to office and i told them that it just because of them and i dont want to see them again because theyre all has different names to me lairs , fake, the people that talk shit about you behind your back, the people that are jealous of your happniess, the people that are drama queens. and the people taht are always causing problems for you just because theyre going thro somuch and they wanna treat you like a animal they dont have heart they dont think about your feelings not even that they were my friends i was always nice to them sweet friendly but what i got in result btrayed lie fake jeaousy accusing you just only problems i saw problems since i was with them it always starts when i used to be with afghan girls and what theyre showing to people is that theyre hijabi theyre wearing scarf and theyre engels and theyre praying 5 times a day ad theyre so loyal people they never did mistakes they always have been truthful and honest so besicaly engels but in fact its all fake hijab is not gonna cover your mistakes your jealousy your bad face it will show off even if you wear hijab too si i never found any true friend i hate all of them i dont love them or anyone in my life this is my story and never let people to put you down and never give up fight for yourself and never show people your weakness never always stay positive and fous on your study and future and always make fake people to lose and show them that you better than them. By Nabila Yar.M
United States • 23 years old