Please register or login to continue

Register Login

What Is There? Reviews

7 reviews have given an average rating of 3.4 out of 5 Stars
bufordwm
bufordwm gave a rating of 2

I think you have an interesting concept here, but it seems like you just started drafting and didn't try to create a whole narrative. Don't be afraid to continue building on it. Your instinct to withhold information is good, especially in flash story format. But you've withheld too much. We can only guess what is happening in the second part.

0
Kat
Kat Thanks for the feedback! I will look into it!
Author -
apemann
Andy (Formerly Apemann) gave a rating of 3

Yet again another 'incomplete' piece of work from you.

It appears to me that you have an idea and put it down on paper 'as formed' instead of exploring it more fully and expanding upon it. Part of the skill of being a writer is to take a basic idea and to fill it out into a more meaningful story. This piece reads more like an outline or précis for a longer work, which as a reader, is frustrating.

Don't be swayed by all of the positive comments as they will mislead you. The negative and advisory comments serve a purpose, too. You have a certain story-telling talent that needs guidance and honing to turn into a skill. Other, more experienced, writers will help you willingly - if you are prepared to take their advice on board...

0
Kat
Kat Thank you for the review. I will look into finding an expericanced writer to find help from. Thank you again.
Author -
kiraafinifrock
kiraafinifrock gave a rating of 4

You're good at describing surroundings and actions and getting across emotions. I enjoyed this short story, it covered kind of a lot of area in a small amount of words. I like how unspecific you were because it led to draw conclusions that could fluctuate between the readers and tie more into the readers' emotions. Great topic to write on and good job of showing contrast of love and despair. Short and strong yet somehow sweet

0
Kat
Kat Thank you for the comments! I love the support and help!
-KP
Author -
lemonslice
lemonslice gave a rating of 2

You've got two poignant, but very loose, ideas that I can't see the logical connection between.

It's another vignette rather than an attempt at a real story. I would like you to think about writing a full story instead, using the basic elements of storytelling (motivation, obstacles, protagonist, antagonist, conflict) instead of just cobbling together random ideas that don't amount to anything much. This is good for your own records and practice, but not for others to read.

1
Kat
Kat Okay. thanks. I appreciate the feedback.
Author -
Kat
Kat I am working on actual stories, they are just not done and these were from a while back - to keep things moving.
Author -
BookishForever23
BookishForever23 gave a rating of 5

awesome story!

0
Kat
Kat Thanks!
Author -
sorrynotsorry
sorrynotsorry gave a rating of 3

The box part was a little confusing. Some more explanation would be nice, but overall a well written story :)

0
Kat
Kat Thanks! The box was supposed to be well known as a coffin, but I see what your getting at.
Author -

Please login or register to review this story.